[It's not as though the sight of a star player so clearly feeling like anything but doesn't cause Akaashi some level of pain as well. Yet, to still allow it to show at this point would only be selfish.
They were supposed to win. This year was supposed to be their chance, and they'd made it so far. After everything they'd been through, first place was finally within their reach, and if Bokuto had just-- ... Just what, though? Done better? That wasn't right. He'd been amazing even in that moment. To hold himself together like that... How is it that what should only be seen as a failure has etched itself into Akaashi's mind as the strongest the older boy's ever been?
To see him like this now, to be reminded yet again of how temporary it was, it only makes things worse.
The most optimal solution of turning back to study elsewhere and avoid this encounter is deemed impossible as Akaashi hears the other speak, and so he gives a nod at the greeting instead. A more neutral expression than usual crosses his features, offering his equivalent to a soft smile as he continues closer, resigning himself to sit next to his now former teammate.
It could be a disaster. He could quickly come to regret his decision to begin unpacking his bag here rather than at another table. But maybe, just maybe, they'll be fine if they avoid bringing up what's done?]
Bokuto-san,
[His own volume's just as soft, even if the tone may seem a bit scolding.]
[Bokuto's chair makes a bit of a scraping noise as he scoots closer so they can talk. However, his head remains perfectly on the table, just shuffled closer.]
I'm not sleeping. [...] Yet.
[Even if he wanted to sleep he wouldn't be able to. Not with Akaashi around. He looks determined to study...? Maybe? Who knows... Maybe he just came over to sit next to him out of politeness. The guy doesn't really have to spend any more time with him, now that Bokuto's club time has come to an end. But Bokuto would be lying through his teeth if he didn't like the fact that he's here. Because he always liked Akaashi's company, regardless of what they were doing.
Bokuto won't bring up what happened at Nationals, at least not now, as he's still processing it. And when he's done properly assessing everything he's done up until now, he will apologize for it and make a promise to never let it happen again.
Because, of course, Bokuto is going pro with volleyball, there's no question about it.
In the meantime, he turns his head away from Akaashi to look at his bag on the chair next to him, fiddles with it and pulls out a little bag from it. Then turns back to Akaashi (still refusing to lift his head, too heavy from thoughts and thinking), and silently offers-]
[The 'yet' is almost worrying. Almost. Whether a serious consideration or not, it might be preferable to the current situation, with Bokuto refusing to lift himself back up.
Sitting together is going to be troublesome.
Not wanting to push the accusation any further and risk causing a scene, Akaashi uses that moment of not being watched to turn his attention to a textbook he's opened up, and begin looking over one of the final chapters. Or rather, to appear to, at least, as he's soon aware that he won't be able to focus while they're together. What limited time they have left is too valuable.
Except--]
Ah, we shouldn't have those here...
['We.' Because while blaming his friend entirely for having brought food into such a place might be correct, it doesn't feel right. Chances are more than enough mistakes are already weighing the older boy down.
Akaashi does move to hold out a hand for the candy despite his supposed disapproval. A show of sorts, that if something goes wrong here he'll take the blame too. ... Although, he has to wonder if the meaning will even get across.
Whether it does or not, maybe providing a further distraction could be of some use. He pushes his book away slightly.]
Reviewing this one again may be excessive. Have you brought any of your own assignments? I wouldn't mind trying to help, this time.
[What was already spoken quietly is suddenly more so. It's the last thing he'd like to offer under normal circumstances. But those are over, aren't they?]
[Whit Akaashi here, Bokuto doesn't seem to want to go to sleep anymore. His entire focus is on him, even if he's sprawled on the table.]
Oh. Right. [It's as if suddenly dawned at him that they shouldn't have food in the library. Still, it's just skittles... they won't hurt, right? He tilts the bag and drops several in Akaashi's hand, smiling a bit- despite what he says, the guy still indulges him. It makes him feel special, he won't lie. And he doesn't pick up on second meaning, as he intends to take full blame if he makes a mess with it. Luckily, he doesn't. He doesn't drop the entire bag into Akaashi's hand, just several, easy to hide in a pocket or under the notebook until you eat them.
When he's asked about an assignment, Bokuto finally sits up. His uniform is pretty disheveled from the way he was laying. There are notebooks on the table and few books that would, in any other situation be there just for appearance. But this time it looks like he's been actually working on the essay- everything he had written IS correct but disorganized and a jumbled mess.]
I think I'm done with one, [Bokuto shrugs and drops the bag with candy in his bag, not caring if it spills. He scratches back of his head-] so I think I'm good. But if you want to look, [he nudges the notebook his way. His handwriting is close to being a chicken scrawl but it's readable. He'll curiously peer over as Akaashi looks over it, as it seems that the distraction has worked perfectly.
It might dawn on him, way later, that dancing around the subject is a bad thing. But he needs to get himself together before he says anything.]
[Proofreading, then? His interest seems to pick up, at that. It's really the best option, with no risk of having to do all the work himself. So accepting the notebook and absently having a few of the candies, he starts reading the essay over. The lettering's messy, sure, but he's used to it by now. It's just childish in a rather endearing way, give or take a few spelling errors. ... Hm.
Finishing the snack off to free his hand, Akaashi reaches for a pencil and highlighter. Maybe it's rather early to do so if he wants Bokuto to cheer up. There isn't really a more tactful way to go about it, though.
He pauses to look to the other for a moment, a bit happier, himself, to see that he's no longer so listless.]
Your ideas look right, so far.
[Akaashi's confident in that much, despite the subject not being one he's covered yet. It's.. more he can tell when Bokuto's repeating what he's learnt or making things up as he goes. So the more pressing issue:]
Do you want the corrections in your notebook, or on a new sheet?
[It'll have to be rewritten either way. Better not to lead with that.]
[Akaashi is very used to everything he does... he's become aware of it during national matches. Perhaps a bit too late to take some load off his shoulders as he's already graduating and leaving. He should probably pay attention to the corrections Akaashi is making, whether it's the order of the sentences in the essay or his grammar and spelling mistakes, but he's not. Of course, he's not. Instead, he's just staring at Akaashi.]
Hmm? Oh! The notebook is fine. We have to type this out anyway.
[He's not sure why but he likes having Akaashi write all over his notebook. His handwriting is so neat...
This entire ordeal with the essay PLUS the encouragement definitively perks him up a bit and he's no longer laying splayed on the desk. Instead, his head is resting on crossed hands atop of the table, eyes flicking between the paper and Akaashi's focused face.]
You're really good at studying, 'kaashi.
[And he always helps him, whether it's studying or volleyball and mood swings. Sure he can't tutor him, but he makes a mean guard when keeping a watch to not let Bokuto fall asleep when he tries to study.]
[With that permission, he'll get started, then-- highlighting instances where the wrong lettering's changed a word's meaning, placing brackets and arrows to arrange thoughts more fluidly, and of course leaving short, tidy notes of his own to explain, where there's space.
It's almost a relaxing task, despite being 'work'. A rewarding one, as well, when he hears Bokuto offer that praise. Although rather common from him, it's always so nice to receive. So to think that this could possibly be the last time...]
Am I? I thought I'd been distracted lately...
[His claim's not untrue, despite his focus right now. Akaashi's thoughts have been elsewhere, only thankfully leading to mistakes more redundant than harmful, and in turn far less obvious. Having come here, for example, intent on reading through textbooks he'd already finished as though their contents could have possibly changed.
But honesty's not his reason for saying as much. Rather, it may be selfishness instead. As illogical a thought as it is, perhaps rejecting such praise means that this can't be the last instance of it. That it doesn't have to feel like such a finite thing.
...
Once mostly satisfied with his changes to Bokuto's paper, Akaashi moves the notebook slightly to share what he's done.]
This isn't wrong, but please try to avoid jumping between topics so quickly.
[He points out a few of the lines that should be rearranged.]
It makes more sense if it's written in order.
I'm sorry too stuff about my job got rly hectic ;;
[Akaashi getting distracted... it's an odd concept for Bokuto to grasp. He knows that the guy gets anxious and thinks ten different things at once, making him frantic from time to time, but that's mostly on the court. He always looks collected outside of it that it's hard to tell what he thinks. Admitting that he's feeling that way, especially after the loss they suffered- he can relate. A lot.]
You're better at focusing than me.
[A plain truth. Akaashi is like an unmoving pillar of support for him. Just his presence makes things more bearable. Especially when it came to volleyball. They knew each other. Akaashi helped him a ton, and Bokuto wished he could've done more for him. He wanted to give him that win at Nationals; it wasn't about Bokuto anymore, but Akaashi and the rest of the team.
His wayward thoughts return to the notebook Akaashi is working on and he just nods. Zero ideas about the details, but if Akaashi says it, then it's correct.]
Okay, so I just rearrange it? That's easy enough.
[He can work around that! That sounds easy. No need to write more.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
They were supposed to win. This year was supposed to be their chance, and they'd made it so far. After everything they'd been through, first place was finally within their reach, and if Bokuto had just-- ... Just what, though? Done better? That wasn't right. He'd been amazing even in that moment. To hold himself together like that... How is it that what should only be seen as a failure has etched itself into Akaashi's mind as the strongest the older boy's ever been?
To see him like this now, to be reminded yet again of how temporary it was, it only makes things worse.
The most optimal solution of turning back to study elsewhere and avoid this encounter is deemed impossible as Akaashi hears the other speak, and so he gives a nod at the greeting instead. A more neutral expression than usual crosses his features, offering his equivalent to a soft smile as he continues closer, resigning himself to sit next to his now former teammate.
It could be a disaster. He could quickly come to regret his decision to begin unpacking his bag here rather than at another table. But maybe, just maybe, they'll be fine if they avoid bringing up what's done?]
Bokuto-san,
[His own volume's just as soft, even if the tone may seem a bit scolding.]
The library's hardly meant for sleeping.
[It's worth a shot.]
no subject
I'm not sleeping. [...] Yet.
[Even if he wanted to sleep he wouldn't be able to. Not with Akaashi around. He looks determined to study...? Maybe? Who knows... Maybe he just came over to sit next to him out of politeness. The guy doesn't really have to spend any more time with him, now that Bokuto's club time has come to an end. But Bokuto would be lying through his teeth if he didn't like the fact that he's here. Because he always liked Akaashi's company, regardless of what they were doing.
Bokuto won't bring up what happened at Nationals, at least not now, as he's still processing it. And when he's done properly assessing everything he's done up until now, he will apologize for it and make a promise to never let it happen again.
Because, of course, Bokuto is going pro with volleyball, there's no question about it.
In the meantime, he turns his head away from Akaashi to look at his bag on the chair next to him, fiddles with it and pulls out a little bag from it. Then turns back to Akaashi (still refusing to lift his head, too heavy from thoughts and thinking), and silently offers-]
Skittles...?
[...]
no subject
[The 'yet' is almost worrying. Almost. Whether a serious consideration or not, it might be preferable to the current situation, with Bokuto refusing to lift himself back up.
Sitting together is going to be troublesome.
Not wanting to push the accusation any further and risk causing a scene, Akaashi uses that moment of not being watched to turn his attention to a textbook he's opened up, and begin looking over one of the final chapters. Or rather, to appear to, at least, as he's soon aware that he won't be able to focus while they're together. What limited time they have left is too valuable.
Except--]
Ah, we shouldn't have those here...
['We.' Because while blaming his friend entirely for having brought food into such a place might be correct, it doesn't feel right. Chances are more than enough mistakes are already weighing the older boy down.
Akaashi does move to hold out a hand for the candy despite his supposed disapproval. A show of sorts, that if something goes wrong here he'll take the blame too. ... Although, he has to wonder if the meaning will even get across.
Whether it does or not, maybe providing a further distraction could be of some use. He pushes his book away slightly.]
Reviewing this one again may be excessive. Have you brought any of your own assignments? I wouldn't mind trying to help, this time.
[What was already spoken quietly is suddenly more so. It's the last thing he'd like to offer under normal circumstances. But those are over, aren't they?]
no subject
Oh. Right. [It's as if suddenly dawned at him that they shouldn't have food in the library. Still, it's just skittles... they won't hurt, right? He tilts the bag and drops several in Akaashi's hand, smiling a bit- despite what he says, the guy still indulges him. It makes him feel special, he won't lie. And he doesn't pick up on second meaning, as he intends to take full blame if he makes a mess with it. Luckily, he doesn't. He doesn't drop the entire bag into Akaashi's hand, just several, easy to hide in a pocket or under the notebook until you eat them.
When he's asked about an assignment, Bokuto finally sits up. His uniform is pretty disheveled from the way he was laying. There are notebooks on the table and few books that would, in any other situation be there just for appearance. But this time it looks like he's been actually working on the essay- everything he had written IS correct but disorganized and a jumbled mess.]
I think I'm done with one, [Bokuto shrugs and drops the bag with candy in his bag, not caring if it spills. He scratches back of his head-] so I think I'm good. But if you want to look, [he nudges the notebook his way. His handwriting is close to being a chicken scrawl but it's readable. He'll curiously peer over as Akaashi looks over it, as it seems that the distraction has worked perfectly.
It might dawn on him, way later, that dancing around the subject is a bad thing. But he needs to get himself together before he says anything.]
no subject
Finishing the snack off to free his hand, Akaashi reaches for a pencil and highlighter. Maybe it's rather early to do so if he wants Bokuto to cheer up. There isn't really a more tactful way to go about it, though.
He pauses to look to the other for a moment, a bit happier, himself, to see that he's no longer so listless.]
Your ideas look right, so far.
[Akaashi's confident in that much, despite the subject not being one he's covered yet. It's.. more he can tell when Bokuto's repeating what he's learnt or making things up as he goes. So the more pressing issue:]
Do you want the corrections in your notebook, or on a new sheet?
[It'll have to be rewritten either way. Better not to lead with that.]
no subject
Hmm? Oh! The notebook is fine. We have to type this out anyway.
[He's not sure why but he likes having Akaashi write all over his notebook. His handwriting is so neat...
This entire ordeal with the essay PLUS the encouragement definitively perks him up a bit and he's no longer laying splayed on the desk. Instead, his head is resting on crossed hands atop of the table, eyes flicking between the paper and Akaashi's focused face.]
You're really good at studying, 'kaashi.
[And he always helps him, whether it's studying or volleyball and mood swings. Sure he can't tutor him, but he makes a mean guard when keeping a watch to not let Bokuto fall asleep when he tries to study.]
sorry for the wait!
It's almost a relaxing task, despite being 'work'. A rewarding one, as well, when he hears Bokuto offer that praise. Although rather common from him, it's always so nice to receive. So to think that this could possibly be the last time...]
Am I? I thought I'd been distracted lately...
[His claim's not untrue, despite his focus right now. Akaashi's thoughts have been elsewhere, only thankfully leading to mistakes more redundant than harmful, and in turn far less obvious. Having come here, for example, intent on reading through textbooks he'd already finished as though their contents could have possibly changed.
But honesty's not his reason for saying as much. Rather, it may be selfishness instead. As illogical a thought as it is, perhaps rejecting such praise means that this can't be the last instance of it. That it doesn't have to feel like such a finite thing.
...
Once mostly satisfied with his changes to Bokuto's paper, Akaashi moves the notebook slightly to share what he's done.]
This isn't wrong, but please try to avoid jumping between topics so quickly.
[He points out a few of the lines that should be rearranged.]
It makes more sense if it's written in order.
I'm sorry too stuff about my job got rly hectic ;;
You're better at focusing than me.
[A plain truth. Akaashi is like an unmoving pillar of support for him. Just his presence makes things more bearable. Especially when it came to volleyball. They knew each other. Akaashi helped him a ton, and Bokuto wished he could've done more for him. He wanted to give him that win at Nationals; it wasn't about Bokuto anymore, but Akaashi and the rest of the team.
His wayward thoughts return to the notebook Akaashi is working on and he just nods. Zero ideas about the details, but if Akaashi says it, then it's correct.]
Okay, so I just rearrange it? That's easy enough.
[He can work around that! That sounds easy. No need to write more.]
Thanks, Akaashi, I owe you one!